Naked truth. 

Make her feel like a diamond not with material things, not with travel, not even intimacy. If you can do that without those tools. You’ve won her. Let her feel secured with no ring, no statuses, but security from your own true self. No secrets, no lies, honesty from the heart and soul. She will treat you like you won a lottery. 

Are you dating?

I went to the beach to chase last night’s sunset. While standing I heard my name called out, I turned and see a guy I used to date with his friends doing the chill sunset beer moments some groups do. I just literally saw him at the gym an hour ago and here I see him again. He waves calling me over to come by.

I walk over, offers me a beer but I decline. He asked why I was there. “I want to see the sunset tonight.” He goes “I always try to make it here every night if I’m free, it beautiful!” I agree.

He goes “So, are you dating anyone?”

Me: “What did you say again?” I heard it, but he already knows my terms of dating.

He goes “Are you dating anyone?”

Me: “I don’t know what that word you’re saying is.”

Him: “Oh yeah, that’s right, you don’t date.”

I’m not against love. But from what he knows as I told him earlier this year, I can’t date. Feelings occur, that I don’t know how to handle. And when I do go thru a relationship with a man, it hasn’t grown to be forever, it’s not it was a waste of time. An experience, but at the same I’ve learned the relationship with myself is best. People think love is loving someone else, but in honesty it’s loving yourself. And if someone else can come in and grow that love for yourself with them even more, they could be the one. I don’t date, because no one has made that spark happen. I did in my past did feel it twice, that it was real, but lack of communication has made that spark disappear teaching me it wasn’t mean to be.

Write out neglection

I’ve neglected blogging. Not on purpose. But with thoughts flooding my mind, that it takes some time to digest. My evernote has so many notes to remind myself where I am now.

It’s amazing how just a particular time in your life you can take a pause from everything and the answers you’ve been wondering of for years come all at once into understanding. You find out the difference from the positives and the negatives. You learn whether or not you were in love or not in love with someone. Or you find out you were in love with someone and wasn’t aware of it as well.

Life is life. Life is real. How we take it, is how we grow, how we move forward without falling down. Some bumps may occur, but know how to get up on your own. Live the life you love.

Pain.

Who I am now has a lot to do with my past . What I’ve been through, who I’ve been with, and the biggest factor. Pain. You can sit down and cry it out for as long as you want dragging it. Or use the pain, take it, turn it, guidance for the future to grow out of it.

Sometimes you cause yourself pain if you don’t communicate it out. The more you bottle it in, it lingers. Sometimes others cause you pain (unintentionally), they don’t know unless you tell them.

Honestly, I don’t communicate well with my parents, therefore, a lot of tension/pain arises on both sides. My relationship with my ex failed due to lack of communication. I don’t want my son to learn how to hold back or do lack of communication. I want him to learn that open communication actually leads to great feeling, you become happier.

 

Communication.

2017 has been an awesome year. It does have some down moments, but in the end I find out I’m learning. Learning how to understand things, how I was, how things connected, how things fell or became great, emotions and hormones as well can be a bad mix. Communication plays the biggest factor, aside from looking at the positive side of things. Negativity gets you nowhere.

The hard part of communication, it goes both ways. To understand it as a whole, you must know both sides of the story. In honesty, it’s not fair to know only one side, but sadly it’s common this world.

It’s actually rate to get honest (or earn it) nowadays. But the ones that gave the courage to be open or honest in the most sensitive subjects have left me a memory I’ll never forget.

You fall in love 3 times

They say in life you fall in love with three different people or three times. The first, your highschool sweetheart. The second, the one you love most at the time. However, the second gives you the best and worst pain in life that teaches you the real experience to love. The third, it is impossible to be with due to challenges or obstacles that prevent you to be fully with them (you may or may not be with this person).

The thing is they never say who you end up being with. Is it the third one? Or does one of them come back? Is there a fourth person?

I know who my first and second love is for sure. But the third, there is someone in mind but I never loved him. Yet, he is all I think of each and every day for the past 4 years of my life. Did I even fall in love with the third and I did not know him yet? Or was it someone I’ve already loved in the past? The wonders of life as you try to understand yourself.

Too Skinny.

I get criticized by many that I’m too skinny. My goal for the past 7 years has always been to gain 20 pounds. It’s not easy due to certain foods I can’t eat. However, not just any 20 pounds. Extra weight by gaining lean muscle instead of body fat. Before I got pregnant, I was halfway to my goal, but it was a long process.

However, in that process I also got criticized for showing off for being fit or I’m a crazy fitness freak. In reality though, getting fit was the best part of my endometriosis journey. Instead of feeling pain every day, it became minimal as if I was almost pain free.

I feel saddened when I google “Endometriosis”. I come across articles or other blogs of women expressing their pain. I used to be just like that. Feeling pain every where, every day, sucking it up and looking pain free to the public. But inside, I wanted it to all go away. I’m not saying I’m at the best phase in life to overcome Endometriosis, but I’m glad I’m not in that type of pain anymore. If only others can find ways to heal the way I did, it would change everything in how they feel about themself, their life, their future and others around them.

Cautious Eating with Endo.

I was diagnosed in 2009 at age 24 for Endometriosis. In high school and after, I thought having crazy pain at that time of the month was normal. Having to take Tylenol during that red tide period, I thought was normal. It was only 2 years ago after having my baby that I found out it wasn’t normal. I used to carry a bottle of Tylenol in my purse, waiting for that monthly timeframe to take it. I realized it’s been 6 years that I’ve had Tylenol. It was only 2 days ago I took it. Mainly because I’ve been lazy this year in being cautious in what to eat.

Soy, wheat, dairy, gluten, beef, or any other hormonal injected food has caused my body a lot of pain due to the reactions those ingredients can cause in the body that has Endometriosis. What’s good for women, could be deadly for those with Endometriosis. I used to eat tofu almost every day, I enjoyed edamame in Japanese restaurants, but out of all the ingredients I’ve listed. A small 1 inch block of tofu can cause me hands or legs to swell for days. My first year being cautious of balancing eating with endo I’ve cut off all the ingredients from my diet. However, now I do eat all in moderation except for soy. There are days I get affected, but I normally go to the gym to cut out the pain. Having testosterone fought the endometriosis pain effects I go thru. I used to go to the gym 5-6 times a week, I felt awesome. My body had more testosterone then, so the pains of endometriosis I rarely felt. Now with the baby, it’s been a big adjustment with the diet. I got lazy, especially since I took advantage of eating anything while pregnant since the endometriosis effects was on pause. My new schedule and teaching yoga – I’m always hungry. Therefore, as of July 1st, I’m trying to get back to my Endometriosis diet. Two days ago I made Protein Banana Pancakes with just 3 ingredients: bananas, 2 egg whites, and quest protein powder. Blend altogether and cook.

4th of July natural treat.

I meant to make popsicles with 4th of July theme. Unfortunately, Macy’s ran out of popsicle molds. Found square ice molds instead and did this below. 

Ingredients: Blueberries, Strawberries, and Greek Yogurt. 

Puree the blueberries then pour to ice tray, puree strawberries then pour as well to tray, input Greek Yogurt then freeze. 

To eat, I waited for 2 minutes after letting it out. Since, it’s natural ingredients used, it melts quick. Happy 4th of July!