I went to the beach to chase last night’s sunset. While standing I heard my name called out, I turned and see a guy I used to date with his friends doing the chill sunset beer moments some groups do. I just literally saw him at the gym an hour ago and here I see him again. He waves calling me over to come by.
I walk over, offers me a beer but I decline. He asked why I was there. “I want to see the sunset tonight.” He goes “I always try to make it here every night if I’m free, it beautiful!” I agree.
He goes “So, are you dating anyone?”
Me: “What did you say again?” I heard it, but he already knows my terms of dating.
He goes “Are you dating anyone?”
Me: “I don’t know what that word you’re saying is.”
Him: “Oh yeah, that’s right, you don’t date.”
I’m not against love. But from what he knows as I told him earlier this year, I can’t date. Feelings occur, that I don’t know how to handle. And when I do go thru a relationship with a man, it hasn’t grown to be forever, it’s not it was a waste of time. An experience, but at the same I’ve learned the relationship with myself is best. People think love is loving someone else, but in honesty it’s loving yourself. And if someone else can come in and grow that love for yourself with them even more, they could be the one. I don’t date, because no one has made that spark happen. I did in my past did feel it twice, that it was real, but lack of communication has made that spark disappear teaching me it wasn’t mean to be.